direction. All my strength drew me away from life. The thought of
self-destruction now came to me as naturally as thoughts of how to
improve my life had come formerly. and it was seductive that I had
to be cunning with myself lest I should carry it out too hastily.
I did not wish to hurry, because I wanted to use all efforts to
disentangle the matter. "If I cannot unravel matters, there will
always be time." and it was then that I, a man favoured by
fortune, hid a cord from myself lest I should hang myself from the