In spite of the fact that I now regarded authorship as of no

importance -- the temptation of immense monetary rewards and

applause for my insignificant work -- and I devoted myself to it as

a means of improving my material position and of stifling in my

soul all questions as to the meaning of my own life or life in

I wrote: teaching what was for me the only truth, namely,

that one should live so as to have the best for oneself and one's

So I lived; but five years ago something very strange began to